Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Excerpts from my Self-Employment Manual

Work Hours and Leave Policies:

Overview: Here at Katie Dot Com, we know that individuals are not born to produce on some kind of set schedule. Nine o’clock is as arbitrary a time as five o’clock, and why shouldn’t A.M. and P.M. be interchangeable? Who cares, really?

Sick Leave: Not feeling well? Then, for God’s sake, stay in bed! You’re a Katie Dot Com employee, so we trust you! We know that you’ll get the job done. Don’t feel that you have to show up simply because it’s a Monday or a Tuesday or a Wednesday or a Thursday or a Friday. Just get better! Take care of yourself!

Vacations: Okay, chances are, as a Katie Dot Com employee, you don’t have a whole lot of money to throw around on cruises and stuff like that. But: if you need to get out of town for a while, just make your plans, put out the word, give everybody the big head’s up, and be on your way. Rest assured, the work will still be there when you get back.

Personal Days: Come on, people! Isn’t every day a personal day?

Dress Code:

Here at Katie Dot Com, we pride ourselves in recognizing that individuals have their own style. We also believe that people are most productive when they are comfortable. Accordingly, we do not dare to impose policies regarding dress. We also believe that when an employee of Katie Dot Com arrives at her workstation, her primary concern should be coffee. Therefore, if the clothes the employee is wearing allow her to make coffee, then – in our opinion – she is pretty much dressed for work.

As to secondary concerns, the work here at Katie Dot Com has everything to do with deadlines. Accordingly, if, during the course of meeting a deadline, an employee of Katie Dot Com needs to change her clothes, that is perfectly reasonable (and also encouraged).

Of course, even a business that exists in the corner of a kitchen needs to mix things up at times. Accordingly, Katie Dot Com recommends Not-So-Casual Fridays. While this is not a deal-breaker, and no employee will ever be fired for refusing to play a part in this concept, the wearing of underwear is encouraged on Fridays. It’s just our way of reminding us that the weekend is approaching…

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