Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Last week, I was heading to my usual Thursday afternoon gig.

And I was taking my usual route: Hollywood Boulevard to Fairfax, at which point I’d head south and over to Sunset.

Within two miles from home, the traffic on the Boulevard slowed. Not an unexpected dynamic. After all, that’s where Grauman’s Chinese Theatre is. That’s where, on any given day, there are scads of day-players dressed as movie figures, cartoon characters, and assorted icons. They mill about and make an occasional buck by posing with tourists. Click, click. Another five dollars. (Or whatever they charge.)

But, on this particular day, the crowd was larger than usual, and the traffic was especially slow. As I inched ahead, I noticed a lot of cameras held up in the air. The tourists weren’t shooting their family members in one posed shot. They were shooting a moment.

Soon enough, I discovered what the moment was: Batman and Spiderman, in conference with two cops. Batman and Spiderman, both in handcuffs.


And here’s the part that really blew me away. The first thing I thought was this: I’ve never wanted to tweet so badly.

Oh my God, am I really “going there?”

What might I have said, in 140 characters or less?

***Superpowers headed to jail! News at eleven.

***Be particularly vigilant, people. The protectors have been taken IN!

***Sorry, tourists. Your Grauman’s photo options have been depleted. Until further notice, it’s Marilyn or Homer Simpson.

… Maybe that’s why I’ve never been inclined to “tweet.” I fail to see a dynamic entry in the mix, and I am not even interested in continuing this exercise.

I don’t know; maybe, too, I’m just not a fan of little newsbytes. Maybe I’m also not convinced that the collective “we” should be encouraged to provide them and/or spend our time tracking them.

… A few days before the heroes’ arrest at Grauman’s, I watched a rerun of the Letterman show. Miley Cyrus was the guest, and boy, was she charming. That girl is smart and awesomely mature. I was surprisingly impressed, and I sensed that Dave was, too. At one point, he asked her if she twittered, adding that people have been telling him he needed to.

Miley disagreed. After stating that she hates twitter, she added, “You already have a show, so you don’t need a twitter.”

She also shared that she had tried it for a moment, but she felt stupid. One tweet: “I lost my lucky bracelet.” Subsequent tweet: “Woo-hoo. I found my lucky bracelet.”

Really? Do we need to know?

Miley doesn’t think so, and neither do I.

But here’s the more important question:

Do we care?

If we do, well… I pity us.

It’s sad enough that Batman and Spiderman are getting hauled off to the County Jail. Can we at least stop wasting our time with these quasi-updates?

Feel free to leave your comments, and please, don’t limit yourself to 140 characters.


Martha said...

Firstly, my dear, congrats on 102 followers. That's 102 people who smile each week, just as I do, when they read your insightful blogs. Secondly, yes, I agree. Tweeting is not my bag either. I opened an account and it has languished, unused and unloved. Don't really see the point...

Ms. Understood said...

Great post. My husband for months has been trying to get me to join twitter. I'm so not interested. LOL @ Batman and Superman getting hauled off to jail. Gosh . . . who will protect us now. Thanks for following. I'm following you too now.

Midlife Jobhunter said...

No tweet for me. I joined Facebook recently. Most of the entries seem like tweets - postings of tidbits I'm not interested in reading. Perhaps I've become too accustomed to the blog world. Much more intimate and rewarding.

Robynn's Ravings said...

Oh I TOTALLY agree (though I have tweeted). I wrote a whole post about this, too, when I set it up and imagined the edge-of-your-seat observations that I could share. "Went upstairs, didn't trip. Went downstairs. Navigated succesfully." And I'm not sure my tweets have EVER been more gripping than that so that's why I forget to tweet except once a month or so when I feel guilty for not doing it!

Great post. :)

Robynn's Ravings said...

Editor's Note: Successfully should be spelled "successfully," both in print and in theory.

PoetessWug said...

I'm sorry, I'm a tweeter...A happy tweeter! :-) I use it for promoting my business. And for your incident I would have tweeted:

Batman & Superman off to the Hoosegow?!...What is it? A bird? A plane? No!...The song ♫ "Bad boys, Bad boys. What cha gonna do...."?! ♫

Deb Shucka said...

So funny. I'm really relieved that I'm not the only person on the planet who resists tweeting. Thanks for giving me the support.

Sadako said...

I'm a tweeter too. For my blog. But it's insane, I know!

Tom said...

Joseph Wambaugh's book "Hollywood Station" has some great anecdotes about arresting the superheroes at Graumanns. Its usually because they are scamming the tourists.

Anonymous said...

My blog gets tweeted automatically but I have no idea if anyone reads it there. It is facebooked as well. My company used social media to the full, most marketing companies do these days, but tweeting? That really is, to me, just like sticking a 'post-it' on the fridge saying,
"Gone out, back in half an hour," or "Anyone seen my car keys?" Do I want to ask the world where my keys are or let them know when I have found them? Do I want to let the world know my house will be empty, and therefore ripe for picking, for the next half hour? Do burglar's tweet? I'll let you know when I find a use for Twitter, maybe I'll tweet it! :-)

Cheryl said...

The worst tweeters are those who get a wee bit tipsy in the evening and tweet their every thought or action.

I signed up only to push a cause. I'll be out of there come the end of July. It's a strange world we inhabit.

I think Batman and Spiderman both had it coming.

Jayne Martin said...

I follow a lot of news outlets and bloggers I like on Twitter. It's also a good place to promote your posts. I don't do much else with it though. I'm much too wordy to confine myself that way. I'm sure I'd break out in hives if continually so restricted.

carma said...

I thought the real reason Miley quit twitter was because her boyfriend hated it and asked her to?? either way, I've backed way off from using Twitter myself. It can quickly become a major time suck. Where you live I bet there is always something cool begging to be photographed!