Monday, July 18, 2011

Monday Reruns: Tweetle-Dee-Dee

(original post-date: July 14, 2010)

Last week, I was heading to my usual Thursday afternoon gig.

And I was taking my usual route: Hollywood Boulevard to Fairfax, at which point I’d head south and over to Sunset.

Within two miles from home, the traffic on the Boulevard slowed. Not an unexpected dynamic. After all, that’s where Grauman’s Chinese Theatre is. That’s where, on any given day, there are scads of day-players dressed as movie figures, cartoon characters, and assorted icons. They mill about and make an occasional buck by posing with tourists. Click, click. Another five dollars. (Or whatever they charge.)

But, on this particular day, the crowd was larger than usual, and the traffic was especially slow. As I inched ahead, I noticed a lot of cameras held up in the air. The tourists weren’t shooting their family members in one posed shot. They were shooting a moment.

Soon enough, I discovered what the moment was: Batman and Spiderman, in conference with two cops. Batman and Spiderman, both in handcuffs.

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

And here’s the part that really blew me away. The first thing I thought was this: I’ve never wanted to tweet so badly.

Oh my God, am I really “going there?”

What might I have said, in 140 characters or less?

***Superpowers headed to jail! News at eleven.

***Be particularly vigilant, people. The protectors have been taken IN!

***Sorry, tourists. Your Grauman’s photo options have been depleted. Until further notice, it’s Marilyn or Homer Simpson.

… Maybe that’s why I’ve never been inclined to “tweet.” I fail to see a dynamic entry in the mix, and I am not even interested in continuing this exercise.

I don’t know; maybe, too, I’m just not a fan of little newsbytes. Maybe I’m also not convinced that the collective “we” should be encouraged to provide them and/or spend our time tracking them.

… A few days before the heroes’ arrest at Grauman’s, I watched a rerun of the Letterman show. Miley Cyrus was the guest, and boy, was she charming. That girl is smart and awesomely mature. I was surprisingly impressed, and I sensed that Dave was, too. At one point, he asked her if she twittered, adding that people have been telling him he needed to.

Miley disagreed. After stating that she hates twitter, she added, “You already have a show, so you don’t need a twitter.”

She also shared that she had tried it for a moment, but she felt stupid. One tweet: “I lost my lucky bracelet.” Subsequent tweet: “Woo-hoo. I found my lucky bracelet.”

Really? Do we need to know?

Miley doesn’t think so, and neither do I.

But here’s the more important question:

Do we care?

If we do, well… I pity us.

It’s sad enough that Batman and Spiderman are getting hauled off to the County Jail. Can we at least stop wasting our time with these quasi-updates?

Feel free to leave your comments, and please, don’t limit yourself to 140 characters.

5 comments:

Sioux said...

When I had a guest blogger recently, I was asked to include a "hashtag" and then when I asked--and then discovered---what a hashtag was, I had to apologize because I do not twitter. I did years ago (tried it out) but it lasted for less than a month.

Does anyone really want to know what I had for breakfast? Do you want to know when I step on a piece of gum in the parking lot and get a bit perturbed? Does anyone (besides me) want to find out that I have less than two weeks before I go back to school?

I don't think so...

I'm glad I am not the only one who does not tweet. It's Dave, Miley Cyrus, you and me against the world.

Tweeters: You are twits if you think I care about a minute-by-minute account of your daily life.

Jayne Martin said...

I use Twitter to promote articles I like or to follow publications or people I admire (Rachel Maddow, Thom Hartmann), but I seldom tweet personal stuff, because you're right. Who really gives a shit what I had for dinner?

It was chicken and broccoli, with a glass of Cabernet and some dark chocolate for desert. I mean, in case you give a shit.

deborahjbarker said...

I tweet my blog and interesting articles I come across but my company uses twitter - well we are a design, marketing and communication company and, to be fair, these days you have to be one step ahead. There are those who tell you what they do minute by minute (a day in the life of Solzhenitsyn would have been great for Twitter!) but I can see it can have good uses. There will be something to take it's place before long and when all the news stories have been leaked and politicians deposed, not to mention newspapers closed, we may well wonder at its power.

Linda Medrano said...

I know Twitter is all the rage, but I've made it a point to not do it. In the first place, that's easy for me to do because I really have no idea what it is. Plus, I don't want to know. Also, in some cases, ignorance is bliss and I like my bliss!

When cops are arresting Superpowers though, I might want to tweet it too.

cj Schlottman said...

Hey, Katie,

I, somehow, at a very weak moment, signed up for a Twitter account. I have never been able to figure out what to do with it. I guess I thought I might be able to get more readers for my blogs. It's so hard to get people to read poetry. For fun, I just went over there, and I offer this quote, with which I concur:

"You don't HAVE TO contribute on Twitter. Be INTERESTING, Be HELPFUL, or Be QUIET!"
...................Gina Schreck