Thursday, January 19, 2012

Simple Thoughts

Post-its help me keep track of what I need to buy.

I keep two on the side of the fridge: one for Ralphs (the typical grocery store) and one for Trader Joe’s (or, as it is referenced on the post-it, TJs).

Then there’s the post-it affixed to my weekly to-do list. It’s for Staples.

At the moment, there are two items on my Staples list. The first is accordion files and the second is… drum roll, please! STAPLES.

How cool is that? I need to go to Staples to buy staples.

Reminds me of that old Saturday Night Live sketch, back when the cast included Gilda Radner and Dan Aykroyd. Remember the mall shop that sold only scotch tape? Wacky.

I’m glad that Staples sells a variety of things. I mean, particularly given the size of their stores, it would be a little creepy to walk in and find nothing but staples. And for this Libra – whose difficulties with small decisions are blog-worthy – I’d only survive the shopping excursion if I first stopped next door. At the store called “Tents.” (As in, “Pitch one, baby. We’re gonna be here a while.”)

Seriously, a really big store with nothing but staples? The options would overwhelm me. The possibilities would take me on mental rides that only another Libra can understand.

So, yeah, I’m glad that Staples sells other things – like paper clips, computers, and mousepads.

And that goes for Target, too. Wouldn’t it be trippy if you walked into Target and saw only the things that you are seriously focused on at the moment? Ooh, I just got some metaphysical goosebumps!

Or Urban Outfitters. Imagine walking in there and seeing a bunch of tense fashion designers, primed with their tape measures and ‘tude.

I’m not sure what to say about Wal-Mart. I’ve spent all of ten minutes in one of their stores (in the town where my Mom lives). For all I know, they sell enough walls to fill a typical Staples. I’d rather not investigate that possibility. They have far too much power already.

Old Navy. Now there’s a concept. Could have been McCain’s campaign headquarters back in 2008.

Lucky Jeans. I have a pair, and if I can ever again squeeze my ass into them, I’ll consider myself disciplined, not lucky. (I’m lucky for lots of other reasons.)

There’s a grocery store chain in Virginia (and perhaps in other states). Food Lion, it is called. The literal interpretation of that store’s environmental culture feels unsafe, in my opinion. Even with a club card. (Or – oh, please stop me now – a CUB card? HA!)

Anyway, as you may already have concluded, I am really, really tired as I write this.

… I also need to buy staples.

And, while I’m thinking about it… more post-its.

... And maybe some wine.


Anonymous said...

One of my friends and I used to call Food Lion "Food Kitty," so that would probably make it less terrifying to shop at...with our cub card ;)

Martha Mawson said...

How about Office Depot? A place where all offices are gathered before being dispatched to lots of tall empty buildings...

Anonymous said...

Hee hee! Like this idea...isn't it great how one's mind works when tired? I love Staples, (the shop not the Fasteners) Oh yes, I was dragged into Wal-Mart on my trip to California but that's another story!

Sioux said...

You gave me some much-needed comic relief, Katie. Thanks.

BECKY said...

Hi Katie! Yay, the comment thingy is working for me! How about Piggly-Wiggly stores?????? :D

Val said...

When I was a kid in Poplar Bluff, Missouri, my family shopped at the Piggly Wiggly. That would be a tough load of groceries to haul home and cook.

Beth Stilborn said...

This was such a delight to read! Thanks, Katie!

I must check the next time I'm in Whole Foods, to make sure there is nothing pre-portioned. And what, exactly, does Joe accept in trade at Trader Joe's?

Deb Shucka said...

I love the way your brain works, tired or not. I'm a post-it junky - don't know how we lived without them for so many years.

We have a grocery store here called Chuck's. That brings some interesting possibilities to mind, thinking your way. :-)

shelly said...

Thanks for visiting my blog, fellow Libra girl. Have a glass of wine, a couple beers, and a margarita for me since I'm highly allergic to all alcoholic beverages.

Em-Musing said...

LOL! And what would all those staples staple? Me? I'm a spiral notebook kind of gal...I have dozens of little notebooks with cute covers and only write on the first few pages before I find another cuter notebook.

Emily R. King said...

My husband owns his own side business and coming up with a name was daunting! I'd love to know how other people came up with their business' name. Everyone is different!

Lydia Kang said...

I'm a Libra. I completely understand!