Tweetle-Dee-Dee

Last week, I was heading to my usual Thursday afternoon gig.

And I was taking my usual route: Hollywood Boulevard to Fairfax, at which point I’d head south and over to Sunset.

Within two miles from home, the traffic on the Boulevard slowed. Not an unexpected dynamic. After all, that’s where Grauman’s Chinese Theatre is. That’s where, on any given day, there are scads of day-players dressed as movie figures, cartoon characters, and assorted icons. They mill about and make an occasional buck by posing with tourists. Click, click. Another five dollars. (Or whatever they charge.)

But, on this particular day, the crowd was larger than usual, and the traffic was especially slow. As I inched ahead, I noticed a lot of cameras held up in the air. The tourists weren’t shooting their family members in one posed shot. They were shooting a moment.

Soon enough, I discovered what the moment was: Batman and Spiderman, in conference with two cops. Batman and Spiderman, both in handcuffs.

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?

And here’s the part that really blew me away. The first thing I thought was this: I’ve never wanted to tweet so badly.

Oh my God, am I really “going there?”

What might I have said, in 140 characters or less?

***Superpowers headed to jail! News at eleven.

***Be particularly vigilant, people. The protectors have been taken IN!

***Sorry, tourists. Your Grauman’s photo options have been depleted. Until further notice, it’s Marilyn or Homer Simpson.

… Maybe that’s why I’ve never been inclined to “tweet.” I fail to see a dynamic entry in the mix, and I am not even interested in continuing this exercise.

I don’t know; maybe, too, I’m just not a fan of little newsbytes. Maybe I’m also not convinced that the collective “we” should be encouraged to provide them and/or spend our time tracking them.

… A few days before the heroes’ arrest at Grauman’s, I watched a rerun of the Letterman show. Miley Cyrus was the guest, and boy, was she charming. That girl is smart and awesomely mature. I was surprisingly impressed, and I sensed that Dave was, too. At one point, he asked her if she twittered, adding that people have been telling him he needed to.

Miley disagreed. After stating that she hates twitter, she added, “You already have a show, so you don’t need a twitter.”

She also shared that she had tried it for a moment, but she felt stupid. One tweet: “I lost my lucky bracelet.” Subsequent tweet: “Woo-hoo. I found my lucky bracelet.”

Really? Do we need to know?

Miley doesn’t think so, and neither do I.

But here’s the more important question:

Do we care?

If we do, well… I pity us.

It’s sad enough that Batman and Spiderman are getting hauled off to the County Jail. Can we at least stop wasting our time with these quasi-updates?

Feel free to leave your comments, and please, don’t limit yourself to 140 characters.